16 Things that Happen When You Have a Weird Name

October 17, 2014

**1. Random old women make it their business to inform your parents that you will be bullied when you grow up. **

A’right. Thanks, lady, for your kind, encouraging words about my future.


**2. Browsing keychain stands at the store becomes a regular and pointless occurrence that always ends in heartbreak, but you always do it anyway. Kind of like having a high school crush.  **

“Oh, wait! Could it be?! I see an A! And an R! And an I! And it says…Arin. Not Arianna, Arin.”  

sad animated GIF


**3. You have to write your name out for people or they will not spell it right. Ever. **

**4. You become a walking kiosk. **

“What were you named after?” 

“What culture is your name from?” 

“Are you Italian or Irish by chance?” 

“What made your parents give you such a…different name?”

come at me bro animated GIF

5. On the first day of school, you sit through the entire roll, just waiting for it…

“Betty Reeder?” 


“Margaret Reen?” 


Dramatic pause

“………………………………..uh………………………uh……….ah-Ahreeawna Reez?”

**6. Your classmates immediately assume you’re a sassy little know-it-all when you make due corrections. **

“Uh, actually, it’s Arianna. Pronounced eh-ree-aaa-nuh.”

**7. Your teachers, colleagues, and acquaintances pride themselves on remembering your name, but they still pronounce it wrong. **

“Oh! Arena! I got this!” 

**8. You correct them, but immediately afterward, they mispronounce it again. **

Me: “It’s actually Arianna. Like air–e–aaaaaa–nuh.” 

Them: “Oh! I knew that. Arrrrrrrrr-ee-aw-nah. Right?”

Me: “Right…”

**9. People read your name off of lists and insert random letters that don’t belong in your business. **

“Adrianna Rees, please come forward.”

E’scuse me? Who you talkin’ ’bout? 

10. **Contractions and word equations become your new best friends. **

“Here. It’s like…air and banana. Think air plus banana and you’ve got it.” 

11. **Your teachers, colleagues, and acquaintances never quite get your name right and then they confuse it with your younger siblings’ names. **

“Oh! Korianna! Right? Or no. Ariel!” 

disney animated GIF

**12. Sparing them the pain of embarrassment and sparing yourself the pain of having to pronounce your name for the fifty billionth time, you lie to them. **

Yup! That’s how you pronounce it alright. 

Things Working Moms Hate to Hear

**13. You stop being surprised when your name is misspelled on official/important documents. **

You’re still friggin’ miffed, though. 

Yeah. That was my National Scholar certificate. It’s not like it’s a BIG DEAL OR ANYTHING.

**14. Your colleagues refuse to use the shortened, easy version of your name because it, too, is weird. **

“Wait. You go by Ari? Like…airy? Let’s not call you that unless you dye your hair blonde. Haha.” 

**15. You just learn to accept your fate. **

People are going to call me weird names. Such is life. 

**16. Then, out of the blue one day, someone nails your name on the first try and it feels like you just single-handedly collapsed the Empire, saved the galaxy, and are now having a dance party with Ewoks.  **

It’s all worth it for that one time.

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